Wow. I guess I really isn't tune to blogging. But anyway, many days passed and many things happened. Tomorrow's again the start of a new school term. :(

25 December - MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

I bought alot of kitkats to my colleagues who worked on both the eve and the actual day. Plus some kinder bueno for only some. Tins of wafer sticks to the sec school hangouts. Hahaha.

Earlier on, about two hours ago, Channel U was featuring this film: The Promise《向日葵的约定》. Just soon after I switched from Channel 8 over to that show, it ended. Oh well, I guess that's my day. And there was another show last week I realised, read about the shows here: Channel U Feature Films.

Goodnight. I shall go back to my school work. :)

Two weeks of term break. But I guess I'll be working through.

The environment and people have changed. Alot of things have happened too. If I were to share it here, it's gonna be a very long story. Ya, just forget about all the unhappiness. Count the number of days I will left there. Recall and reminisce those good times, which seems to be the puasa days. :)

Bye, there.

Four-leaf clovers represent good luck. I found them one fine day at work. But where is my joy and happiness? Little did I expect that bad things were to happen one after another.

I was struggling whether to attend the e-guides camp earlier on. And obviously I didn't. Now I have two more free days. I want to find someone out but ya, I don't know who to ask again. I am starting to doubt on myself, if whatever I do, my emotions and feelings, are right and reasonable. I am totally lost here. If back to the old days, my ah gong will be there listening to me, right? :D

I can't say I have no friends, because I would be doing unfair and unjustice to those who really treat me well, or just a warm smile for a second at least - nothing that really matters. However, whenever I am in need of warm and encouragement, I can't think of anyone whom I can look for.

Currently I am giving this sucky attitude to everyone which I don't even like, thus despising myself even further.

I am a total confusion born into this world.

My term-tests have just ended today but I'm still feeling very stress.
Partly because of the family problems after ah gong passed away and at work.
I found myself getting envious of people, and it's getting pretty bad.
I know I shouldn't, but you know, to say is easier than to do. The negative feeling is there.

Ah ma has been digging out the past, even those that happened before I was born. This made me change alot of perspective and thinkings.

At work, recently, I found myself doing back all the old stations, on each and every schedule. Then, people moving up fast, even queueing up to do the last station which I don't get assigned to do. I don't find any sense of achievement anymore like how I used to; when I first started, I always anticipated for the next new station. And there is always this someone who demoralises you - saying please and stuff when they need people, and make you sound like "you are not needed" when they have enough manpower.

Enough for tonight. I'm freaking tired from only 2.5 hours of sleep last night which lasted me for the whole day. I need time to sort out my feelings and thoughts.

Thanks mo-mo for the words of encouragement. =)

公，我爱你。
November 28, 2009 农历十月十二